Shield Read online

  I replied to Josh with a positive answer and had run in my room to change, assuming what I had been wearing wasn't appropriate for the event. Without thinking too much of, I decided to just put on a pale pink sweater with black skinny jeans. I had immediately felt self conscious for some reasons when I looked at my reflection in the mirror. Maybe it was just because I had been overthinking everything since going out was a first for me and I needed every detail to be perect. I had somehow shrugged it off and started to brush my hair.

  After I had spent more than thirty minutes in my room, I found my grandfather sitting on the couch to tell him that I was going out with a new friend from school. I still dont know why I lied about it, he just didn't seem to trust the guys on the team so I didn't take any chance.

  Surprisingly, he just told me to not come back too late with a tired voice. I think he had already dozed off in front of the television when I left.

  And now here I was, looking around anxiously at my surroundings through the window in what I had assumed was Josh's car until he informed me it was his roommate's, Logan, the one I saw Monday. It seem like an expensive car honestly, I almost felt wrong sitting on the leather seat.

  Through the ride Josh had interrupted my racing mind many times to complain about how people drove like 'retarded' making me laugh. I couldn't help but compare it to the times I've been in Killian's car where the atmosphere was always tensed. Or maybe it was just me.

  Soon our surroundings changed in unfamiliar ones, and I realized we were entering the downtown. I've never been there, always staying in my grandfather's little town. Unlike there, everything was animated here, even right now when it was late at night. I stared in awe at the lights on every building illuminating the city, the restaurants that seemed to still be full and the groups of people who cheerfully wandered on the sidewalk. It was different from the peaceful town I've spent years in. Good different.

  Then, just as I started questioning why we were in that part of the city, he parked in a random street, in one of the few spots available. I thought he wanted to celebrate..

  "Why are we here?" I asked concerned as he pulled the keys out of the contact.

  "We're joining some of the guys at a bar." He replied as if it was obvious and he was out of the car before I even knew it.

  A bar?

  I've never been there, and its because I cant go there. Firstly, grandpa probably wouldn't like it and secondly, I cant enter one legally yet, I'm only 17!

  I unbuckled my seatbelt and hurried out of the expensive car, taking fast steps to catch up with Josh on the sidewalk.

  "Huh? I-I thought we were going to someone's house. I-I've never been in a bar." I urged out of breath and suddenly feeling overwhelmed.

  Josh glanced down at me, an amused glint flashing in his eyes, "yeah I've figured that out kid, but theres a first to everything right?" He said with enthusiasm.

  "But-but I'm not even 19 Josh!"

  "Dont worry about it. I know the owner, he'll let us in." He winked down at me.

  After a short moment of silence passed, I realized something and frowned. "U-us?"

  "I'm only 18 kid." He replied with a playful smirk on his face.

  "Oh," I could only manage to say, "and stop calling me a kid." I added pouting at him.

  He laughed and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, "I just can't help it, you have the cutest baby face," he said pinching me cheek with his finger and his thumb making me giggle.

  Is this what having friends feels like? Feeling light, almost worry less and...accepted? There was still a part of me that made me question all of my movements and words, but I kept trying to shut it down and enjoy the moment.

  "You also really look like you're 12 years old," he added more seriously, seconds later when my laugh tied down.

  I looked up at him almost offended at his comment and dared to lightly tap him in the chest.

  "What?" He asked innocently, "you're like four feet tall!"

  "I'm five foot two!" I exclaimed immediately. 14

  "Same thing." He shrugged indifferently with a grin on his lips making me laugh again for no reasons. 3

  His arm still around my shoulders, he turned on a street corner and stopped further in front of a loud lighten up building. There was only a few people in front of the door waiting to enter, but something told me that inside it was whole other different thing.

  I tensed up, slowly realizing what I had put myself into.

  I wont back down, I wont back down.

  My arms instinctively wrapped themsleves around my stomach as Josh directed us towards the entrance where a big man stood. Probably a security.

  Josh appeared to exchange few words with him before the large intimidating man curtly nodded and let us in.

  Oh my god this is so illegal, I kept thinking. 1

  As soon as we entered, my heart pouding in my hears was replaced with the bass of the loud music playing. Surprisingly the crowd wasn't as big as I expected. Few people were dancing in the large area, some seemed to simply have a conversation and others were sitting at the tables that were surrounding the dance floor. All of them appeared to have a drink in hand.

  I really shouldn't be here.

  My arms tightened around myself as we walked further in the building.. I tried to control my breathing as it kept getting heavier and the knot in my throat tightened. Thank god Joshua's arm was still around me because I would have lost myself in the unlighted and crowded space.

  I was too focused on controlling my panic and paying attention to everything around me, I didn't notice the people sitting and standing around the table we had reach.

  "Josh! My dude," a guy exclaimed taking me out of my trance.

  When my eyes landed on the few people, I froze, suddenly feeling a new stronger wave of anxiety and self consciousness taking over me. All of them were guys, that I assumed were part of the team, and luckily for me none of them were looking in our direction. I searched for Killian's chocolate messy hair by instinct only to find unfamiliar faces. They all seemed too entertained by each other's conversations or games, except for the one who appeared from nowhere and had happily greeted Joshua.

  "What took you so long?" The skinny looking guy asked over the music that wasn't as loud in this area, "I started to think you wouldn't come."

  "I had to bring some company." I heard Josh answer, shifting next to me and making me visible to his teammate. Before I could even process anything the guy's shiny eyes landed on me.

  "Ooh," he said looking confused, and honestly he didn't appear really sober. He could barely keep a straight posture, his words were sloppy and a lazy smirk never seemed to leave his face.

  "Charlie this is Sadie, Sadie this is Charlie the best goalie on the league." Josh teased.

  I smiled at the not so sober guy and greeted him, hopefully loud enough for him to hear. He returned it with a wide toothy smile and came straight to me for a bone crushing hug, taking me off guard. 2

  He pulled away looking down at me with a genuine glint in his green eyes. But then his smile fell and was replace with a concern frown. "You're cute, but aren't you a little young to be here?"

  If it wasn't for the nervous knot twisting my stomach and my mind racing to formulate a coherent and not stupid sentence, I would have found his demeanour adorable.

  "Nah she's fine," Josh answered before I could, grinning down at me, "we shouldn't stay here for too long anyway."

  The guy named Charlie nodded and leaned to sit down on the stool behind him, but miserably failed, missing the seat by inches and landing on the ground. I heard the long haired idiot next to me burst out of laughing. 3

  "Oh my god," I exclaimed looking down in concern at the blonde guy who for a moment didn't moved an inch, "a-are you okay?" I blurted out, not sure if I should make fun of it or worry.

  Then his body started shaking on the ground, soon making me realize he was just laughing as hard as his friend. I joined them, replaying the scene in my bead, my lips invo
luntarily lifting up in a smile as giggles left my mouth. I almost wanted to roll my eyes at how I couldn't help but worry for a guy who probably couldn't feel anything in his body right now.

  "I think you should slow down on the drinks idiot." I heard Josh say out of breath between his laughs.

  At the moment, the lump in my throat had dissipated and I hardly felt the knot in my stomach I've had ever since I entered Joshua's car. Soon our laughs tied down and I had to force Joshua to go help his friend still sitting helpless on the floor.

  Then their conversation went on. Some of their teammates passing by greeted them with a handshake and had a small talks, as I stood awkwardly, before leaving. Not many of them noticed me, but the ones who did, shot me a friendly grin. None of them were Killian though. At some point Josh must have noticed I wasn't comfortable and how I felt self conscious standing like that, and he motioned me to sit on the stool next to Charlie.

  I slowly felt like I was getting more comfortable but the concern glances Josh kept subtly sending me told me otherwise. I tried to shrug them off by sending him the most sincere smile possible.

  I thought I was doing great..

  Yes, I was still fidgeting on my seat and playing nervously with the rings on my fingers, but my mind wasn't racing a thousand miles per hour like it would always do. My thoughts were shut down as my attention was directed to the two hockey players in front of me.

  With drinks in hand, they talked about hockey, college, and other stuffs I couldn't relate to, but I was still absorbing all of their words. I preferred listening to their rambling and laughing at their jokes than having the pressure to participate in the conversation. I had almost forgot about Killian until the blonde guy next to me mentioned his name. Instantly my eyes searched for his intimidating figure again.

  Instead my gaze found a person I should have known would be here; Tyler. Panicked, I looked around for his friend but there was no sign of the arrogant and scary guy I've encountered weeks ago. Without him in my sight, I couldn't help but feel paranoid. His friend was here, he must be somewhere close.

  "Josh," I called pulling at his shirt, "i-is Dylan here?" I asked trying to keep my voice as steady as possible.

  "Yeah I think so, he'd never miss partying" he casually replied taking a sip of his drink and making my heart skip a beat at the same time, "why?"

  "Oh, huh nothing." 1

  He seemed completely oblivious of my distraught as he just nodded and then asked me if I wanted a drink that I denied for the third time tonight.

  My pulse pounding in my ears, I frenetically looked for Dylan. Somehow not knowing where he was and that he could be wandering around around me made me even more anxious. What if Josh left me? What if I had to use the bathroom? What if I somehow ended up alone? My mind started imagining all kinds of scenarios I never wanted to happen, making my body shiver and sweat from fear. My throat seemed to tighten more and get drier as my eyes roamed around the room thinking every guy with the same hair colour was him.

  This is really too much, I realized as much as I tried to convince myself otherwise.I need air, I need to get out, I need... I need to go home.

  Home. Yes, I want to go home. Hide in my room and sleep for a full week. Before I could even consider asking Josh to leave, the voice familiar angry voice I subconsciously knew I needed, boomed next to me, half a second after I noticed his big figure. 1

  "What the fuck is she doing here?"

  The two guys' conversation immediately stopped as their head snapped to the one standing tensely next to them. His shoulder tense, and his jaw clenching as he towered over them. His eyes were burning with rage, while mine were staring at him wide open. Has he been in the bar for long? Did he just arrived?

  "I, I, huh.." Josh started unsure, completely taking off guard, "listen Micky we just-"

  "I told you not to bring her here for fucks sake." Killian snapped, cutting off short his friend's rambling. He was not happy and I think I saw Josh flinch at the harsh words. Honestly, I think I did too.

  His brown icy eyes landed on me making me bit back a whimper from the intensity of his stare. This is too much for me. He walked the short distance between us, almost as if he was in a trance, not giving one last glance to his teammates.

  "I'm taking you out of here Sadie." He said lowly, only for me to hear before grabbing my upper arm and taking me with him.

  "Dude, sorry I didn't think you'd get that pissed." I heard Josh saying exasperatedly behind. I didn't even think of giving him one last glance as Killian pulled me by his side walking through the crowded place and glaring at anyone who would get to close. I followed him like a lost puppy since I couldn't think straight, the anxiety forming a cloud in my brain.

  Part of me was apprehensive, scared of Killian's bad temper right now, but it felt safer to blindly follow him than staying in this bar.

  "Why didn't you just fucking stayed home?" He snapped the second we arrived outside of the bar, where the music wasn't booming loudly in our ears. 1

  I didn't answer, focusing on holding back my tears.

  "Huh? You should have just stayed in your fucking room Sadie."

  I stared at the ground, staying quiet and trying to act like his words didn't cut deeply straight through my heart.

  I should have listened to Killian and never came here, I kept thinking.

  The furious boy was tensely holding me by my arm to his side. He had slowed down his pace, probably noticing how my legs were too small to keep up with his. The grip was firm but not even close to painful, on the opposite, it warmed up my insides. He hates me, and I dont know what part in this my brain didn't understand. I wanted him to appreciate me. Or even just tolerate me.

  I didn't mind the touch of his hand on my arm, even if I knew I should, but the tingly sensation I felt every time he was in contact with me was too nice. He admitted hours ago how he didn't even want to be friends with me and it had torn my heart, but here he was scolding me again. I couldn't help but think he didn't want me to be friend with him and his friends.

  Am I that horrible? Am I that much a bad friend?

  As much as him being here made me confuse, I was relieved that he decided to throw a tantrum right when I felt like having a panic attack. I was glad to be out of the building, I didn't even notice how hot and suffocating it actually was until Killian took me out. But now my body was freezing and trembling from the cold air. My sweater had been sufficient an hour ago but it seemed that the temperature had significantly dropped.

  Then just as I was trying to control my body from quivering, Killian abruptly stopped making me automatically imitate him. I stared at him perplexed as he let out an annoyed sigh before taking off the thin but warm looking hockey jacket he was currently wearing. I couldn't process what he was doing, the clothing item was carefully placed on my shoulders and his exhilarating scent filled my nose. 1

  "N-no keep it, I-I'm fine," I stuttered out with a shaking voice betraying my words. I stared at his upper body covered in only a t shirt and guilt washed over me.

  "Take it."

  "B-but what about you?." I asked culpability dripping off my voice. He'll get cold with this thin shirt, colder than I am!

  "Sadie you're shaking, take it." He replied sternly leaving no room for argument. Despite his nice act, he kept his face blank and continued walking.

  I stared at his back completely dumbfounded and wanting to argue more over this since I wouldn't be able to live with myself if he got cold, but no words cane out of my mouth.

  Why didn't I just stay home? Like I always do? This situation wouldn't be happening right now and Killian wouldn't be angry with me.

  I hurried beside him as I slipped my arms in the sleeves of the large jacket, feeling the warmth covering my skin. I was practically floating in it, but I couldn't care less. It also felt wrong to feel the need to deeply inhaled his addictive and manly scent when he was so angry with me.

  Creep, I thought.

  Killian eventually stopped in fr
ont of his car that was parked on the side of the street among others and opened the passenger door for me like he had the three other times. I quietly thanked him and stepped in the vehicle. I shivered again, the colder air in the car hitting me, despite the jacket I was wearing. I just always get cold.

  I snuggled in the warm material hoping it would stop the trembling in my body as Killian entered the car. He immediately stared down at me, his eyes roaming on my upper body where his jacket hung loosely on me, making me feel self conscious.

  Does he want it back? 2

  His brown orbs then moved up to my face and I noticed how they had darkened, but not like they would when he was angry. This time they almost seemed... content, or satisfied even.The look didn't scare me, in contraire, it gave me tingles and made my stomach flip. I couldn't quite describe it nor find a reason why his eyes had turned a shade darker and stared at me so intensely. But just as I started feeling uncomfortable and diverted my gaze from him, he cleared his throat and turned on the heat. 1