Shield Read online

  I giggled at his child-like attitude, "I can show you, if you want."

  His head lift up and he looked at me with bright eyes, "oh can you do braids?" 2

  "Yes." I smiled.

  He quickly pulled out a cake pan and poured the batter from the mixing bowl in it before shoving the uncooked cake in the oven. He turned towards me with a wide smile on his lips, subtly waiting for me to do his braids.

  I motioned him to come stand in front of me so his head would be at my level. I reached for the soft locks, as his back faced me, and separated them in two sections, deciding that two french braids wouldn't look so bad on him. I proceeded to braid the first side, hoping I wouldn't find a way to mess up. I thanked god for not making my hand shaky for the first in presence of someone else.

  I remember seeing many girls with this hairstyle during my first day if school and how amazed I was. I learned by myself the technic, after many attempts on my dolls hair when I was younger, finding nothing better to do as I was practically locked in mother's apartment and without any friends.

  Pathetic, I know. 1

  Joshua was talking about how the coach would kill him if he knew that he was about to eat a cake as dinner, while I was fixing the second braid with an elastic when a voice interrupted him.

  "Its getting late Sadie, I should drive you-" Killian's now blank voice spoke, entering the kitchen, "what the fuck are you doing?" He asked abruptly.

  My eyes shot up to his dark ones, who where sending a murderous glare at the boy whom I was finished braiding the hair. He was not happy, I could tell, but somehow, he kept a blank face despite how his jaw was clenched and his broad shoulders stiffened.

  I then realized the position me and Joshua were in and I suddenly felt uncomfortable. Extremely uncomfortable.

  I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be here.

  "Look she braided my hair" Josh said with enthusiasm, completely ignoring Killian's glares. 1

  I wanted to smile at his excitement over the small thing, but I found myself guilty again for Killian's unhappiness. Maybe I should have joined him when he left instead of leaving him alone and acting so selfish.

  Stupid, stupid.

  "I-I should probably go home."I said weakly, getting off the counter and walking towards the dining table to get my school bag.

  "Oh, you're leaving?" Josh pouted, not realizing the guilt that washed over me again.

  "Yeah," I forced a smile, "I'll call my grand father."

  "I'll drive you." The tall dark eyed boy said bluntly.

  "Its okay-"

  "I'll drive you." He repeated, his chestnut orbs piercing through mine and leaving no room for arguments.

  I nodded my head slowly and followed him to the entrance where I said one last goodbye to Josh before leaving.

  In the car, Killian didn't say a word. He just stared blankly at the road leaving the atmosphere in a silence where even breathing felt inappropriate. I didn't miss how his fists were clenched tightly around the wheel and his jaw never seemed to unlock. While he appeared to be angry, I felt remorseful.

  I was hoping his large jacket would make me disappear as I sinked myself further in it. It was kind of ironic that I was wearing his clothe item when he appeared to be mad at me, but he was the one who insisted that I keep it, saying that this was last year's jacket and he will receive another one soon.

  My stomach was twisting uneasily every time I tried to let the words leave my mouth in attempt to make a conversation. I was just not the type to do that, and Killian just had this intimidating aura around him. I wasn't as comfortable anymore.

  When he pulled up in front of my house, I blurted out a small 'thank you' and immediately escaped the suffocating silence.

  "You're friend has a car?" Grandpa asked, the second I closed the front door behind me, making me jump.

  "Yes." I breathed out, taking my shoes off and heading to the stairs immediately. I just wanted to take a hot boiling shower and lay in the comfort of my bed.

  He didn't know that my 'new friend' was Killian and I wasn't planning on telling him soon since I didn't know what he would do about it. He wouldn't keep me from seeing him right?

  "Not even a 'hello grandpa, how are you?' or 'how was your day?' "He mocked as I was midway downstairs.

  "Sorry, how was your day grandpa?" I repeated, forcing a smile at him.

  He chuckled, "great thank you. How was yours?"

  "Exhausting," I sighed.

  "Hey," a familiar voice whispered in my ear, making me jump during my stressful moment.

  I turned around a hand on my chest, completely frightened, but thankfully meeting the grinning face of Josh with a box of I assumed were donuts in his hands.

  "Hi," I breathed out, "w-what are you doing here?" My stupid brain asked, as if it wasn't normal to wait in line in a Tim Horton.

  "Buying donuts and coffee, what else?" He grinned making me roll my eyes. "I'm not following you, by the way, if thats what you were thinking. I was just passing by and I thought bringing some donuts for Killian and Logan after their training."

  I only nodded, my attention occupied by the few people moving around me as I waited for my order. I came here because grandpa wanted a coffee and there wasn't any left at home. I also think he used that as an excuse to make me get out of the house, 'put myself out there' like he said by slowly exercising my 'social skills'.

  Because, yes, communicating with the cashier is a big step for me. I've done it a couple times before, but the nervous knot never leaves my stomach. 6

  "Wanna' come to the apartment and join us?" He suddenly asked.

  "Huh? Oh, n-no, thanks." I half smiled, as my eyes frenetically wandered around in the restaurant. No, I am not paranoid. People just stressed me out.

  "Oh c'moon," he whined, "why?"

  I shrugged, "I-I have to go home. Grandpa is waiting for me." I tried to explain, but it sounded like a pitiful justification to him.

  "So? I'll drive you to your house, you tell him you're going out with the best player in the team and I drive us to the apartment. He'll understand, dont worry." He bragged, shamelessly and even somehow managed to make me laugh. 2

  "I dont know," I replied hesitantly, even though his suggestion was tempting me. Before he could argue, the lady named my order and I nervously approached the counter to pick up the red coffee cup and the muffin.

  "So, are you coming?" He demand again as I faced him, but as he saw the clear hesitation on my face he proposed, "hey, I'll drive you home and meanwhile you think about it. How does that sound?"

  My house was not even five minutes away, which is why I walked by myself here.

  "I dont want to bother you-"

  "Dont speak none sense kiddo, holy shit. You're never bothering." He exclaimed as if it was the most obvious thing.

  I didn't even have time to nod, he was motioning me to follow him outside, which I did. During the really short ride, I was slowly realizing that I didn't have a reason to deny Josh's offer, until my mind diverted to Killian. We havent spoke in three days, and I felt myself slowly going insane. Well, insane might be a little exaggerated, but nonetheless my brain has been overheating with questions in the past days.

  I wanted to see him, but I wasn't sure if he felt the same way when thought about how I left him Monday. I didn't know if I should have talked to him or if what I did was okay.

  Clearly it wasn't considering how grumpy and angry he seemed to be. Again, I kept feeling selfish and guilty. I could have texted him and ask him how he was doing? Or call him? Perhaps, he would have find me annoying.

  Gosh. I am horrible at human interactions. 3

  "If its Killian you're worried about, dont think too much of it." Joshua tried to reassure, as if he was reading in my mind when he stopped in front of my house. "He just came back from the gym, he should have taken all his energy out and, technically, his anger too. He wont be grumpy like he was Monday." He forced a smile, but something told me he wasn't telling me the full truth. "Though
, I truly think he wants to see you. He keeps fucking staring at his phone, but ends up never calling you and gets frustrated. Its seriously annoying." 2

  My heart melt at Josh's statement, but I couldn't help thinking he made this up just so I would accept to go with him. Still, imagining Killian debating wether calling me or not, because of whatever reason, brought a bubble of happiness in me and made me feel special, in some kind of way.

  "So? Is it a yes or no?" He asked, playful.

  Ugh.

  "Okay."

  ———-

  Turns out, maybe it wasn't such a great idea. 1

  I was nervous during the whole ride, thinking about not making a fool of myself in front of them. I wanted to be normal, have friends like every other teenagers, but the anxiety that followed me like my own shadow restrained me from it.

  When we walked in the living room, Killian happened to be passing there too to go in his room and his brown orbs immediately turned into ice when they landed on us.

  "Why did you bring her here?" He asked with the same harsh tone as last time, making my heart drop to my feet.

  I had to bit back the tears as Josh and him had a small argument, which I wasn't able to pay attention to. I was focusing on the cries trying to come out and the knot in my throat. I was frustrated, sad and confused.

  I didn't want to Killian to be mad at me, I wanted to fix whatever I did wrong, but I didn't have the courage to face him and ask him about it. So, at some point he just went and locked himself in his bedroom, leaving me and Josh alone in the living room.

  He trued to make the atmosphere more comfortable by proposing me to watch a movie, which I gladly accepted.

  No need to make conversation when people watch a movie.

  Except, I didn't expect him to put on an action type of movie. When the screen displayed the guns and the blood, I had to subtly cover my eyes with the blankets while Josh kept stuffing his face with donuts. Halfway through the movie, I realized I couldn't focus, finding the movie boring and horrifying, and my attention all on Killian's cold demeanour I couldn't explain.

  I hated the way his voice kept being harsh and the way his eyes darken with anger. I wanted to see his smile and the beautiful chestnut colour of his orbs. I hated even more that I could possibly be the cause of it.

  "C-can I go get a glass of water?" I asked to Josh, as I felt my throat tighten again from the need to cry.

  "Yup. Glasses are in the cabinet on top of the sink." He said completely distracted by the tv screen.

  I took the heavy blanket off me, stood up clumsily and made my way to the kitchen, where I took the chance to take a few deep breathes and try to get a grip of myself. I followed Josh's instructions and filled the glass with water that I thirstily drank, hoping the dryness in my throat would tie down.

  I then deposed the cup in the sink, and turned around to head out of the area, but my face met with a hard body.

  "Ow," I winced and scrunched my nose at the abrupt contact. I was forced to take a few steps back at the impact, but two strong hands grabbed me by my arms before.

  I lift my head up to find Killian towering over me and staring back at me with those same dark hypnotizing eyes I couldn't get out of my mind in the past days.

  "S-sorry." I could only manage to say.

  He just stared intensely back at me, his warm rough hands still wrapped around my upper arms. I lowered my gaze on the black shirt he was wearing, feeling intimidated by his tall height, his eyes and just by him in general. I waited and anticipated nervously his next move or comment, but it never came.

  We stood in the silence until a loud gun shot sound followed by deadly screams abruptly interrupted it and made my already anxious body flinch. I was so close to cover my ears at the booming noise but Killian's hoarse voice finally spoke.

  "Do you want to watch something else in my room?" He asked lowly, his orbs boring into my frighten ones.

  I didn't even think of my answer and immediately nodded. Much to my disappointment, his hands fell from my skin and I followed him through the kitchen, to his bedroom door, but before we could step in, I heard Josh's complain behind.

  "You're stealing Sadie from me?" He pouted.

  Killian just glared at him and entered his room. The only thing that prevented the guilt of leaving Josh for him, was the wink the goofy boy sent me when I gave him an apologetic smile.

  What was the wink for? 2

  The moment I stepped in Killian's room, I felt like I was discovering another side of him despite the room being an exact representation of him. Plain and empty looking. I felt like I was trespassing on a private side of him, but maybe I was wrong.

  The walls were a pale shade of gray and his bed sheets were a plain white, just like his furnitures, which consisted of a desk and a night table. As I expected, the room was clean, no clothes or trash laying around.

  It reminded me of my own room, except mine had a touch of light pink. Though, I found his much warmer, in a kind of way, even if it wasn't decorated and practically looked empty. As much as my room became my safe haven from the world, it was the place where I found myself waking up in terror in the middle of the night and that, didn't make it feel so safe anymore.

  Perhaps it just had to do with the fact that it was Killian's bedroom, and everything about Killian made me feel secure.

  I stood awkwardly in the middle of the room as he moved a really soft looking blanket and patted the bed, indicating me to come over. I shyly stepped forward and made my way to the comfy looking bed.

  I sat down bringing my knees to my chest next to him, still leaving some space between us, as he sat normally, his upper body leaning on the wall behind and his long muscled legs were extended.

  "What do you want to watch?" His hoarse voice asked with the remote in his hands as he scroll through the Netflix movies and shows.

  "I-I dont know." I answered, dumfounded.

  I soon found myself distracted by the strands of dark hair falling messily, yet gracefully on his forehead and his chiseled jaw. My eyes dropped to his broad shoulders, to his perfectly muscled bicep, then to his strong hand that held the tv remote. My attention now specifically on the veins on his forearm, I realized how hypnotizing the simple detail was and how the sight only made my stomach clench in a weird way.

  Whats wrong with me?

  "Sadie?" He called, snapping me out of my trance. My eyes immediately shot to his dark ones, who were already boring into mine.

  "W-hat?" I asked, my voice coming out weaker than expected.

  "I said what do you watch usually?" He demanded, with a tone that appeared to be softer than before.

  "What do I- Oh, right you're talking about Netflix, duh." I mumbled stupidly to myself. I heard Killian chuckle next to me, his smile looking genuine and his eyes glinting with...adoration? Perhaps I was really going crazy. "I dont know. I really like Friends. What do you-"

  "Friends it'll be." He cut me off before I could even return him the question.

  Soon, the familiar theme song interrupted the silence and it almost didn't feel right to make him watch my favorite show. He will eventually get bored thats for sure.

  Even I couldn't pay attention. While the characters were making fun of Joey's strong love for food, my mind was far away, thinking about Killian's sudden more welcoming attitude. He has been grumpy since Monday, when Josh walked in and didn't talk to me or text me ever since.

  Maybe he was busy, was what I kept saying to myself.

  But even when I entered today and he saw me, he had the same blank face and irritated look in his eyes. I really started to think that I was bothering him or somehow he realized I wasn't worth it, but then he invites me in his bedroom to watch Netflix because he noticed I couldn't handle an action movie.

  Why was he so fudging confusing?

  "W-why were you grumpy on Monday?" The question finally escaped my lips, the one that has been in my head the past days and I felt myself slowly going insane because of it. I was alway
s overthinking every situations and it happened to be the worst torture when it came to Killian's mood swings.

  "I wasn't grumpy." He mumbled. 3

  I looked up at him, and for the first time he wasn't already staring intensely at me with those intimidating brown orbs. Instead his eyes stayed fixed on the screen, giving me a perfect sigh of his beautiful profile.

  "But-but you weren't even talking to me."

  I noticed how his jaw twitched and his body tensed, before he let out a long sigh and turned his head to me. I almost gaped at the beauty of his imperfect, yet so perfect face.

  "It was just the stupid literature paper that was pissing me off, okay? I only had a day left to finish it and as you know I'm a total shit in english." He explained, sounding like he was trying to keep his tone soft yet, he had a strict voice.